Counseling & Support

The Men’s Council is unique in its passion for providing men with a strong support network as an outlet for interaction, guidance, help and advice. Men are no longer on their own when dealing with complex issues.

 

Diverse group of men


What is a support group?

A support group is a group of 5 to 10 men committed to sharing events of our daily lives, the feelings stirred by those events, and the history behind those feelings.

Support groups are not a substitute for therapy, but a place where we can be ourselves. All groups are expected to follow a set of Guidelines established by the Council. The only requirement for joining a support group is a genuine desire to join with other men in supporting each other’s life journeys.

Most groups meet every one to two weeks, with two of our current groups meeting at the Raleigh Friends meeting house. Other venues will be developed as needed. Support group dues are $40/quarter in advance & are required to offset the cost of the meeting places. The dues include membership in The Men’s Council.

An online form requesting membership in a support group as well as membership in The Men’s Council can be found on the Contact page. Because existing groups are filled, there may be some delay in placement pending formation of new groups and requests from existing groups to add new members.


Support Group Guidelines

These guidelines can help your group achieve meaningful give-and-take of a richness and depth that makes the experience positive for all members. Giving and receiving truthful feedback is a skill that takes the individual time to acquire, and the group time to adjust and adapt to. Revised and adopted December, 1998

    1. Commitment – For the group to grow as a group, the regular attendance of every member is important. If an emergency prevents your attendance, let another member know ASAP. Before you quit your group, discuss it with the group and plan a session to say your good-byes. Closure in this matter is important.
    2. Confidentiality – Members and issues of the group are not to be discussed with anyone outside the group.
    3. “I” Statements vs. “You” Statements – Take ownership for your feelings and opinions. For example, “I feel nervous when you laugh at me like that,” will be more likely to generate a useful conversation than “You make me nervous!”
    4. Listen – Attentive silence followed by non-judgmental acknowledgment–e.g., “Sounds like you’re angry about it,” vs. “You don’t have to bitch about it so much!”
    5. Focus on Feelings – How you feel about an issue or event or person is more important than the logic. The group can help you express your feelings if you let it.
    6. Responsibility – Each member is responsible for his own behavior, thoughts and feelings. Each member is also responsible for asking specifically for what he wants from the group.
    7. Any Member May “pass” – Anyone who is uncomfortable or unwilling to participate in a given conversation may “pass” without having to explain.
    8. Speak Directly to One Another – Instead of saying to the group, “John seems angry,” look John in the eye and say, “You seem angry, John.”
    9. Avoid Judgment and Advice – Describe behavior (“You’re clenching your fists-are you angry?”). Don’t judge or advise (“You don’t have to get pissed off-why don’t you take a few deep breaths?”) Judgment and advice are OK if asked for explicitly (“How do you think I handled it? What would you suggest I do next time?”)
    10. Be Here Now – Remain as much as possible in the present.
    11. Avoid Questioning – When tempted to ask a question (“Why are you looking at me like that?”), discover the personal statement behind it, and express that (“I get uncomfortable when you look at me like that.”)
    12. Pay Your Support Group Fees – Fees are due quarterly IN ADVANCE in order to help pay the rent and utilities. Your Support Group Contact Man will distribute quarterly fee statements one month before the quarter begins. You have one month in which to pay the fees. If you cannot manage the fees for any billing period, bring it to the attention of your group and the group’s Contact Man. It is the group’s responsibility to ensure that the entire group is paid up. The current support group fees are listed on the Support Group Information page.
    13. Let Us Know How We Can Make Support Groups Better – If you think of ways the support group process or facilities can be better, please tell your group’s Contact Man. He will pass your recommendations to the Support Groups Coordinator.

 To Join a Support Group

In the Triangle Area:
There are currently a select number of support groups holding regular meetings. For additional information, please contact the Triangle Support Group Coordinator, Doug Lester, Group 
Coordinator.

In the Charlotte Area:

New groups are forming all the time. If you’re interested in the possibility of joining an existing support group or one that is forming, contact Jarod Brown.

In the Boone Area:If you’d like information about what’s going on in the Boone area or interested in the possibility of joining an existing support group or one that is forming, contact Bob Cambron. 

Men to Men Support Group of Morristown, NJ


MenToMen.net   Has life thrown you curves?  Seeking a support group for men?  If so, our support group for men’s issues could be a good resource.


Attractive man using laptop on sofa

Virtual Men’s Support Group
     Join us with On Line for a Virtual Men’s Support Group
A great group of men interested in connecting, growing and working on their lives to make them better. It is free and will brighten you week.     We meet on the web Sunday’s at 9 AM Central Time. We convene on time, do a short meditation, check in with everyone to see if anyone needs time and        then share about our week. We typically meet for one and a half hours.

We all connect via Google Hangouts http://www.google.com/hangouts/ (It’s free and easy to use once you are set up.) You will need a computer, a web camera with a microphone, (aka webcam) and high speed internet access. You will want to do this in a place with some privacy. A coffee shop or library will not do for meditation and sharing about your life.   For more information contact:

Pete Karl .      

“Sons of the Fathers” Inside a Men’s Group  What a Men’s Group is like.  Real men sharing their lives.  This video and clips are of a Men’s Group facilitated by Nick Theophilou


Psychological Counseling and Therapist Led Support Groups:

For therapists with experience in men’s support issues. Some of these therapists lead men’s support groups as well as work with men individually.

In the Triangle Area, contact:
    • Mark Bailes, LCSW, BCD (919) 783-7494 Raleigh
    • Nathan Berolzheimer, MSW, LCSW  (919)-302-0716 Chapel Hill
    • Joel Dillon, PhD psychologist, (919) 428-2766 Cary NC
    • Doug Jennette, MSW, LCSW (919) 781-6393 Raleigh
    • Michael Katz, PhD (919) 781-0852 Raleigh
    • Richard Kevin, PhD (919) 878-7800 Raleigh
    • Lou Lipsitz, LCSW (919) 782-4980 Raleigh and Chapel Hill
    • Richard Stolp, Phd (919) 571-0917 Raleigh
    • Joe Gilbert, M.Ed, LPC (919)429-7835 X 203 Raleigh
    • Bernie Newton, LPC (919)526-0256 Raleigh
    • Tony Delmedico, LPC (919)623-8118  Raleigh
    • Jonas Horwitz, PhD (919)401-6171   Durham
 
In the Greensboro Area, contact:
    • Paul Volk, MSW (336)444-3636
    • Peter Wohlwend, LMFT, M.Div  (336) 274-4669
    • Bob Dickinson, PhD (336)854-4450
    • Tom Lane, DMIN (NCLPC) 336-545-1200
    • Bob Mylan, LCSW (336)310-5648
    • H. John King, PhD, LPC (336)558-4720
    • Ted Dougherty, PhD (336)323-1616

 

In the Charlotte Area, contact:
    • Randy Wall, PhD or Rick Deitchman, PhD  with Charlotte Psychotherapy Counseling Group (704) 364-0452
    • Ronald Wolfe, LMFT, LPC  (704) 240-5023
    • Philip Loydpierson, MSW    (704) 342-3456
In the Boone Area, contact:
    • Philip L. Cole, LCSW, LCAS (828)406-0590
    • Tom Woodard, LPC, LCAS (828) 265-1455

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