If You Look Inward, What Will You Find?

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What will you find as you dig deeper into how things are really going for you?   How happy are you every day?  There is a truth that we were not taught.   We are all more similar than we ever imagined.  On a deep level, we share the same fears, the same wants and the same needs as those around us.  If that is true how did we get to feeling so isolated?

As men in western culture we have been sold the ideas: “I can do it myself.”  “I don’t need help.”  I don’t need the approval of others.”  I’m a man!  That my friend is “Man Box” garbage.  It hurts us emotionally and physically.  Most of us have internalized that it is not OK to appear weak, or to need others, or to have self-doubts, or to be scared.  Or in the extreme we don’t even own that we are physically ill.

It is in the company of other men that trust one another and really share that we find ourselves amazed at how much we have in common.  Every year – again and again men come forward after attending the Men’s Gathering for the first time, moved at their core, and often in tears to find that they are not alone – other men share their feelings.  They discover that are not broken or lacking – they are just measuring themselves with a very destructive set of rules.  The rules about “being a man”, “manning up” and “toughing it out” – HURT.  Choose again, there are options for a whole new set of measures, some of which you may want to adopt.   This is where the digging deeper needs to be embraced.  You need YOUR new rules.  Not some other groups, not some guru’s – yours will work best for you and you have to dig to find them.

Where do you start, read for some ideas that will stretch your idea of what it is to be a man.  Try these to start our web site www.TheMensCouncil.org or a couple of others www.GoodManProject.com or http://mensleadershipalliance.org/blog/ or www.consciousmasculinity.com .

Another important tool for many men is to become active in a support group, where men share in a confidential and honest way about their lives and emotions.  What would acting from a place of awareness and wholeness do to your relationships with family, community, and your relationship with other men?

Your connection with your real self is the treasure of going deeper.

JCNeill 7/15

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